Made it past another Halloween with no tricks or treats! What a first class miracle. I did not add to the drama of my life by putting on a mask and accepting candy from strangers.
Looking back, my life was one big drama after another. The continual feeding that I did was nothing but an excuse to continue eating more. I would get an inkling of fear and voila, off to the refrigerator to take it away. I made little to no decisions, rationalizing my life by eating more.
Halloween was just the beginning of what I call the ‘triple crown of eating.’ The binge would get started about now and end somewhere around New Year’s eve, if I were lucky. Maybe it would even stretch out to the super bowl!
I became fatter and fatter, more and more stuck in a life I hated to a point where I almost took a gun and blew my brains out. Were my problems that devastating? Looking back, I have to say that no, they weren’t, but the constant streaming of food kept me stuck in a false sense of depression, gloom and doom.
Twenty-one years ago, you could say that I woke up. Eventually, the courage to change the things I could allowed me to take some action to do something about all that gloom and doom of my self-imposed victim life. My dour circumstances were exasperated by the continual eating. Some things weren’t nearly as bad as I made them out to be, so I could accept them.
I made some huge changes, starting with how I approached eating, with some enlightening discoveries. Extra food doesn’t help. In fact, it exacerbates problems by adding remorse to the mix, not to even speak of the morbid obesity that accompanies those binges when you do them often enough.
I no longer turn to food in times of trouble. There are so many more effective things to do, like call a friend, or do some journaling. I can take a walk, go for a bike ride or make the bed! I can pray. When I remember that God’s got my back, I can face anything life has to dish out, without dishing out second helpings!
I love my life today. Is it all rosy? Not by a long shot but I don’t over-dramatized the things that aren’t so wonderful. I am facing a few health challenges right now. I doubt if Halloween candy would cure any of them. Instead, I’ve made doctor appointments and just stick to what I planned to eat. I keep track of my food on www.myfitnesspal.com – an easy way to make sure that the food is in harmony with weight-loss (the meds have caused an increase in weight, but that isn’t an excuse for diversion).
And if I get a little scared? Well some of my friends know I’ll call or text them. I 100% support the idea to ‘share it or wear it’. Calling or texting takes the power out of that irresistible urge for extra food.