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Reflections from an RV 051912

May 18, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Brrr! It’s a little chilly here in St. Marys, GA this morning. We had a heavy rainstorm last night and it’s still overcast and damp this morning. Undaunted, I grabbed a sweatshirt, my helmet and headed out for a delightful one hour bike ride! The base has some great bike/walking paths, with lots to see. We’re on a submarine base, so there’s some interesting ‘architecture’ in addition to the woods and wildlife.  Who says that exercise can’t be fun? I like to do a little meditation while I ride, breathing in God and exhaling out any stress, bad thoughts or whatever might be troubling me. We are nestled in the woods, with lots of little lakes and bridges, and I returned with a light heart and a clear head. I had the idea that I would like to drop a few more pounds and get in great shape this summer, so the exercise is in harmony with that goal. The bike makes it fun and something to look forward to, rather than dreading the “E” word.

When I returned from the bike ride, Dave and the dogs were up. I made a pot of coffee and a nice, healthy breakfast. We actually donned some sweatshirts and turned on the little fireplace/heater in the living area. We’re only a few hundred miles from Titusville but already enjoying some cooler weather.

We didn’t do too much yesterday, mostly just explored the base and set up stuff in the RV. We’ve brought lots of books to read and some yarn to crochet a few things. I also have that murder mystery I started writing about a year ago, but had to set aside because life got too big. Now I’m inspired again and ready to bring that thing to life. When I tell people that I’m an author, they often respond with, “I’ve always wanted to write a book.” I’ve discovered that in order to make that happen, one must actually sit down and write. I am eternally grateful to my coach, Lorraine Edey for encouraging me to turn that dream into a goal with an action plan!

I had fun yesterday on Dr. Melanie’s radio show with my friend and fellow author, Sean Anderson. I really enjoy being a guest on the radio! Sean was great too! He and I have been talking about a joint project – a cookbook that features recipes from people who’ve also survived and recovered from morbid obesity. That’s still in the talking phase but it could come to life by the end of the summer!

Dave and I will drive up to Brunswick later today, check out the city and meet my friend Vivian for dinner. Viv and I were friends when we both lived in Orlando back in the 90’s and have rediscovered one another via a mutual friend. We caught up last year on a weekend excursion in our RV so it will be good to connect once again. I’m getting in touch with friends along our route to visit while we’re nearby. I will be heading to Columbia, SC for a day to see some friends while we are parked in Yemessee, SC for our next leg of the trip.

The view from our RV is nice – the lake is picturesque and at night there’s some wildlife. Dave saw a deer two nights ago; reminds me of home. We’ve rushed around for so much of our lives, working and trying to get ahead, that now it is so wonderful to just slow down, breathe in God and relax. It truly is a spiritual experience!

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I am not a failure

April 11, 2012 By 6 Comments

I received some disappointing news yesterday. As much as I coach others about expectations, that they’re pre-meditated resentments, darn if I didn’t have an expectation. When I didn’t hear what I wanted to hear, my attitude plummeted.
I have been involved in a credentialing process for over a year. It’s expensive, and time-consuming. I’ve worked very hard to prepare myself for the test. And I did not pass the first time. I knew right away what I did wrong, and while some of the circumstances were out of my control, I knew it was bad.  When I received the news of failing, I just rescheduled the follow up test. (I am afforded three tries)

The second test was written, rather than oral. This gave me lots of time to think, to really put a concentrated effort into it. I took nearly the two days afforded to me. I worked hard felt confident that this time I passed.

Then, finally the email came. I opened it with anticipation and my heart sunk as I read the words; “ we regret to inform you that you did not pass the exam process.”

I just wasn’t ready to read that. I thought for sure I passed. What now?

My attitude plummeted. Self-doubt and negative self-talk rattled around in my head. Embarrassed, defeated and in sore need of a hug, I shared my bad news with my husband, who tried to console me. It was just going to take some time to allow the news to settle in and then figure out what to do next.

I’ve learned that when I’m in an emotional state, take no action. My first thought was to just chuck the whole thing and that probably was a bad idea. I had a day planned with my niece who’s here on spring break. What good would come from ruining her day too? I needed an attitude adjustment. It’s not easy to just push away from negative self-talk, but I had to move forward with my day, even though I wanted to wallow in my self-pity.

The best way to get out of oneself is to become interested in others. We headed to the beach, and whenever I thought about my test results, I asked my niece about her life, got the focus off myself. While we baked in the sun, I read a book, went for a walk and just put my bad news away for the day. In the evening, I worked and once again, concentrated on helping others.

This morning I woke up without the pity-party. I am still not sure what to do about the next test, but realize that I need some help before I take it, so that I know how to pass it! I know the material; I just don’t express myself that well in a testing process. I’m embracing that in myself and will look today for solutions to this new challenge.

So I failed a test. That doesn’t mean I am a failure. I’ve just come up against a road block on my path and know that there is another way to deal with it. And I know that this experience will come in handy to help others who may face disappointment too!

You know, it’s easy to write when things are all hunky-dory, but that’s not life – life has its ups and downs. It helps me to know that others have gone through similar challenges and have come out on the other side. I’m in that process and hope to hear your success stories, how you faced disappointment and what appears to be failure, without feeling like a failure yourself.

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Fifteen things you can do to be happy

April 10, 2012 By Leave a Comment

I read a great article this morning by “John” about fifteen things to give up in order to be happy. Good stuff, but ‘giving up’ always seems so negative to me. So, I thought I’d write about fifteen things I can do to be happy. Thanks for the inspiration, John!

  1. Be human. And that means I am going to make mistakes. I can just hear that voice from my childhood, “You should know better.” Well, no I shouldn’t. I can relate so much better to people who are not perfect anyway. Show your warts!
  2. Remember that control is an illusion; the only thing I can control is myself and there are many times where that’s an illusion too! Going with the flow is much more fun and allows me to not take life so seriously.
  3. Take responsibility for your actions. If it’s your fault, own it! I no longer ‘awfulize’ everything. There just aren’t that many big deals and the world isn’t going to come to an end because I screwed up.
  4. Talk nicely to yourself. I’m pretty cool! There are enough people out there who’ll run us down for me to do that to myself. My actions reflect that I’m pretty cool, when I think it about myself.
  5. Broaden your belief system. Little surprises me anymore. When I believe that I can do something, I’ll take the steps to make it happen. Doubt is the big wall to progress.
  6. Look for the Good in life! Have fun! When I look for it, I find it! You know, there are miracles occurring all around us when our hearts are open to receiving them. I saw a Great American Bald Eagle on my bike ride this morning. Now that was a gift!
  7. Enjoy the luxury of compliments. When I look for the good in people, I can always find it. Try telling the clerk at the 7-11 that her long, painted fingernails are a work of art, and watch her face light up. It’s fun to brighten someone’s day by giving them a compliment.
  8. Remember that other’s opinion of me is none of my business. I want to impress myself! I no longer need anyone’s approval to feel good about myself. Perhaps that comes with age, but if you’re not a baby boomer, start now to look for the good in yourself!
  9. Embrace change. That’s the only thing that we can count on anyway! Life changes, and if I fight that, I’ll never be happy. If I anticipate change, when it comes, I can go with the flow and find the good in everything.

10. People are different. When I look for the differences, I can find them, but if I look for the similarities, they’re there too. I can relate to anyone, if I try. So who cares about what’s different? That’s the spice in life. The synonym to perfect is boring.

11. Be brave and courageous. I no longer allow fear to block me from taking action. When I draw on my inner strength, I see that it’s really there! I’m strong and invincible – I am woman!

12. Embrace who you are. I don’t need to make excuses for who I am today. People aren’t the results of cookie cutters. I like my little ideosyncrocies, because that’s what makes me special.

13. Stay in the present. When I worry about yesterday or dwell on what is yet to happen, I miss where I am. Life is so wonderful in the moment. I used to wish half my life away. Today is all I have and I’m going to enjoy every moment of it.

14. Life an unencumbered life. Seems like I collected so much ‘stuff’ as life unfolded. And now I view that as clutter! I’m slowly cleaning out all that junk I don’t need. Give it to the kids for Christmas! Donate it! As my space becomes more free, so does my spirit. Amazing.

15. Take your time. My good friend, Cheryle Touchton  always asks if any babies are gonna die if we don’t do this right now. I no longer allow other’s sense of urgency dictate my actions. When I take my time, take decisions to prayer and talk to others, solutions I never considered pop up.

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International Coaching Week

February 6, 2012 By Leave a Comment

International Coaching week started on Sunday. I was thinking about it this morning, remembering back in 2005 when I burned out on my well-paying management job. I understood the meaning of ‘going postal’, knowing that if I had to look forward to doing that work for the next ten or twenty years, I could have done bodily harm to a client!

Having no idea of what was on my career horizon, I gave a nine month notice to the board of directors, that I wouldn’t be renewing my contract at the end of the year. Now what? I prayed, asking God to show me how I could be of service to Him and to people, while still earning a decent living.

Within a few weeks of giving notice, one of my good friends sent me a link to a life coach’s website. I had never heard of coaching before, and figured it was probably one of those new-age California gimmicks. Lo and behold, that coach lived less than thirty minutes from me; could my quiet, little Brevard County, Florida be that progressive?
Lorraine Edey became my coach, introducing me to the exciting world of coaching. I took the prescribed classes and soon was working with clients of my own.

“What are your goals?” Coach Lorraine queried during one of our sessions. I shared that I always wanted to write a book. I soon discovered that if I waited for inspiration, that book would remain a figment of my imagination. Coach Lorraine inspired me to develop an action plan, and take the steps to putting that book on the market. It took a year, but soon I was signing copies of Trust God and Buy Broccoli, A Spiritual Approach to Weight Loss. My dream became a goal, because I spent the money on me, to hire a coach and take some action!

During this week, International Coaching Week, I challenge you to really think about your dreams and what you might do to make them a reality. Go visit the International Coach Federation or World Coach Institute’s Website and pick someone who resonates with you. Check out their website. Send them an email and ask for a complimentary session. Don’t go to your grave with dreams that never materialized because you didn’t know how to get them off the ground.

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