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Things are not always as they seem!

October 27, 2010 By Leave a Comment

I was cooking yesterday, making a big pot of my delicious black bean chili so that Dave has some stuff to eat while I’m in Nashville this weekend. As a rule, I don’t measure spices, kind of just dump them in. Well, I reached for the chili powder, made a few generous passes over the crock pot and realized it wasn’t chili powder, but nutmeg.

Oh geeze, now what? My first thought was to dump it down the drain – all that ground beef, several cans of black beans, and the rest of it. I was truly agitated with myself, inspiring negative self-talk; “You stupid idiot!” I would never speak to anyone the way I sometimes speak to myself.

I calmed down, and wondered how much damage a little nutmeg could cause. What would it hurt to let it simmer in the crock pot and let Dave taste it later (I’m on the no-BLT’s plan – no bites, licks or tastes)?

So, when he came home from his part time job at Disney, Dave lifted the lid on the crock pot, smelled the chili and asked for a bowl! I accommodated him, not mentioning my screw up with the spices. So there he was, a little after midnight, chowing down, raving about how it was the best chili I had ever made. Chuckling, I shared my nutmeg saga. He suggested that I add it to all future chilis!

So there you go. My famous black bean chili will have an opportunity to be even more famous for it’s new secret ingredient, so don’t tell anyone! It could have used a little more jalapeno pepper. I always err on the side of conservative with the hot stuff!

Had I followed my first negative inkling and pitched the chili, we’d never have known what good could come from a seemingly bad situation. I learned something yesterday – things aren’t always what they seem and what may look like a negative in the moment, could be a positive just waiting to happen!

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Spiritual Tip of the Day – Unconventional Meditation

October 14, 2010 By 1 Comment

I have come to believe that unconventional meditation is what works for me. I’m not one to sit quietly for a period of time – my mind wanders too much. But stick me on a bicycle in a quiet woodsy setting, and my mind clears like magic. I am open to God’s message for me.

This morning, I woke up while it was still dark; in a few weeks that will change, when we set the clocks back an hour.  So, my bike ride started out in limited visibility. There’s very little traffic in my neighborhood that early - mostly other bikes, a few dog-walkers, and a golf cart or two. The lawn crew gets out around seven, but when I saw a vehicle approaching, I’d just flick on my little  flashlight so they could see me.

It was comfortable - short sleeve weather in the mid sixties and I enjoyed the quiet time. I ride about 3.5 miles – my bike has no gears so if I want to go faster, I must pedal harder. What a great way to combine exercise with meditation – multi-tasking at it’s finest!

While I was riding, I thought about my day yesterday, and reviewed my opportunities to be of service to others. Presently my husband is the regular recipient of my giving. He broke his wrist about eight weeks ago and the cast came off on Tuesday. I’ve been applying lotions and creams to his dry skin as he requests it. He’s rather self sufficient. I think part of service to others means not to shove it down their throat. I have learned with Dave, to offer, and then let it go. He will ask when he needs help. My part will be to stop what I’m doing, whenever possible, and help. He doesn’t ask that often so I need to be ready.

In thinking about today, I know I will see several people, as I run errands and keep appointments in the ‘big city’ (Orlando). When I pray in the morning to be of service to people, it sets the tone for the day, and I find myself looking for opportunities. Sometimes it is to give anonymously, and others, just striking conversation with a stranger. It’s right there, when my heart is open to giving.Wildlife & Animals 24637

I also think about others as I ride, and pray for them. My sister is waiting for some test results, so I prayed for good news. A neighbor is traveling – I asked for their safety. Keeping it simple, just kind of talking with God like I would a friend on the phone, works best for me.

So, I’ll probably never qualify for guru of Tibet status, but meditation on the bike for me. Thinking outside the box can result in finding what works for you too.

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Spiritual Tip of the Day – It’s Okay to be Imperfect!

June 15, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Who's perfect?

Who's perfect?

“The synonym for perfect is boring.”

Maureen Traynor

As a young teen, I swam competitively. I was pretty good too! Rarely did I come in first; there were two girls in my swimming league who were much better than me, so often I finished second or third. “You could have beaten her, if you only tried harder.” The words of my father echoed in my head.

Loser

Good for nothing

Second doesn’t count

 

I also heard, “You’re nothing but a jack of all trades, but a master at none; you’ll never amount to anything.” It was partially true – I was pretty good at a lot of things but not the best at any one thing, but  that took me pretty far in my life. My ability to multi-task and delegate aided me in my career as a community association manager – perhaps not the best, but my ‘graffiti’ knowledge took me far!

In my forties, I met Maureen Traynor, A mental health counselor in Winter Park, FL. She told me that no one is perfect. There was certain freedom in that for me! I tried many new things as a result – scuba diving, water colors, and changing careers at age 57! Do you know that my first book had eleven errors in the first printing? That was after several friends and a professional editor cleaned it up!

In the Spirituality of Imperfection, by Ernest Kurtz, Katherine Ketcham, I learned that it is in my imperfections that people can relate to me. Actually, this has become a cornerstone of my spiritual coaching practice; to help clients to see that stumbling is all part of climbing the mountain it’s still important to put a good effort into the job, but today I seek to achieve excellence, rather than perfection!

Here are some things I’ve done to move away from perfectionism and toward striving for excellence!

  • Let go of expectations – they’re premeditated resentments anyway! When I expect a certain result, especially if it is unattainable, it’s a set up for disappointment.
  • Create an action plan to achieve goals. If the plan doesn’t work – revise it! There is always more than one way to accomplish things.
  • Celebrate the ‘wins’. Along the way to the big prize, there is a plethora of victories. Savor each one!
  • Learn from the challenges – note I did not say failures. Each stumbling block along my way has helped me to discover the spirituality in my imperfections.

Might you be a perfectionist? Take this online test to see how you measure!

http://discoveryhealth.queendom.com/perfectionism_abridged_access.html

“Once you accept the fact that you’re not perfect, then you develop some confidence.” Rosalynn Carter

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