New Habits for 2012

Marcia Sirota wrote an article yesterday about ten bad habits to let go of in 2012. Some of them are pretty good, such as ‘comparing yourself to other people.’ Whenever I do that, I come up short. I’d much rather look for ways that we are the same. I can usually relate in some way to everyone. Yes, everyone! Everyone has something in common with someone else. And we all will have something more (or a little less) than the next guy. It’s just too
exhausting to look for how I’m different and then feeling less-than as a result. So, thank you, Dr. Marcia, I’m going to use that one.

The article also recommends that we let go of jealousy, avoidance, rudeness, denial,
complaining, gossip, a bad attitude, co-dependency and facebooking your ex. All are excellent habits to replace with something positive.

I have a few good habits that I want to reinforce in 2012:

Building a support team – Self-sufficiency propelled me to over 250 lbs. I binged, dieted and failed at diets alone. About nineteen years ago, I was introduced to the concept of building a support team to help me with my goal of weight loss. I’m sure that some friends thought me to be a bit daft when I’d call and let them know that I was thinking about eating a whole bag of cookies. We’d laugh about it and voila! I didn’t eat the first cookie. I know today that I need people in my life for all successes – you just get more results with an army than a slingshot and a pebble, unless of course, you are David.

Listen More – Every time I give to others, I get something in return. It doesn’t have to be about money either! Listening is so valuable and sometimes it’s just what a friend might need while working through a tough time. I also want to listen to my own instincts around self-care.

Forget the One – If there are 99 people in a room that love me, I’m not going after the 1 who doesn’t any more. There are always going to be people who don’t prefer my company, so I’ll bask I what I have and not worry about what I don’t have. Unless of course, the one is Tony Stewart. I’d have to go after him! He drives pretty fast and I’d probably not catch him, but I’d have to try.

 

Strengthen my Spiritual Disciplines – I presently start my day out with prayer, meditation and whenever possible, exercise. It feels so good to be connected to God in this way. And there’s always time to meditate during the day – it only takes a minute to stop and take time to breathe in God and breathe out self, or whatever might trouble me at the time. Just for one minute. Try it!

I’m also going to keep it simple this year. I was racking my brain to come up with more good habits, but this is really enough. I can make a list of ten but odds are excellent that adding more will only lead to doing less.

What bad habits do you want to release? What good habits will you reinforce in 2012?

 

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Trick or Treat?

Halloween is next week. Soon, little goblins and witches will knock on doors, announcing themselves. “Trick or Treat!” They want candy!

Halloween was one of my favorite holidays. We grew up in a moderate income family, but had no idea that we were ‘poor’. Our costumes were originals. One year I made dice out of cardboard boxes for my brother and me. Creating our get ups was part of the fun of Halloween. But the best part was the candy. I lived in anticipation for weeks before the holiday arrived.

We lived in a high density neighborhood, where we could go door-to-door in a short period of time, and fill our bags with every sweet concoction our hearts desired. And on the following school day, someone who’d eaten too much of that candy would get sick on the bus; it never failed!

My heart’s desire was not just for my bag, but also that of my brother’s.

At some point in my life, my treats turned into a trick. No matter how much candy I ate, it was not enough. I’d inevitably get into my sibling’s bags, sneaking more and more chocolate, attempting to satisfy a craving that could not be satisfied. I had become a sugar-addict! As soon as I’d eat one, I’d want more. That led to other foods too; mostly high carb, processed foods. That led to morbid obesity and a life of depression, obsession and emotional flat-line.

My first Halloween with David was a hoot! I’d been sugar-free for over six years. Feeling confident, I greeted the children, commenting on the great costumes and throwing handfuls of bite-sized tootsie rolls into their bags. After they’d gone, Dave took one of the tootsie rolls (about the size of the end of my pinkie finger), popped half of it into his mouth and wrapped the other half up. I asked what he was doing, since the concept of half a tootsie roll was totally lost on me. He said he just wanted the ‘taste’. Whoa boy, that would have set up a craving in me, leaving an empty bag in the morning, and I don’t even like tootsie rolls!

This will be my nineteenth Halloween with no sugar. Isn’t that amazing? I’m no longer obese, maintaining a healthy body weight now for eighteen years. I can look forward to the colorful costumes without worrying about gaining a whole bunch of weight. You see, if I don’t eat one bite of a candy bar, I cannot eat a whole bag of it, and your bag, and everyone else’s I could pilfer.

Happy Halloween to everyone who celebrates! I’ll spend a quiet evening with my 90 year old parents. That’s about as good a treat as I could hope for.

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“When I lose weight, I’m going to …”

“When I lose weight, I’m going to ….”

“When I retire, I’m going to …”

“When  …. “

What am I waiting for?

I was in my late twenties when Elvis was playing at the Lakeland Civic Center, a short hour drive from where I lived. I loved Elvis, and thought that maybe the next time he played there, I’d go to see him. Well, there wasn’t a next time. Elvis died before I had a chance to see him perform on stage. It was too late; I waited too long.

That happened over thirty years ago, but it caused a shift in my thinking about things I wanted to do. In 1978, Tom Jones came to town and I went to see him, not once but twice!

In 1991, I was still rather obese, but wanted to learn to SCUBA dive. I guess I could have waited until I lost weight but what if I never did? I took lessons and became a certified SCUBA diver. It was difficult when I weighed over 250 lbs, requiring nearly a 40 lb weight belt to counter the buoyancy of all that fat. But under water, I was weightless! I am so glad that I didn’t wait. To experience drifting along a pristine coral reef and hear nothing but my own breathing remains one of the highlights of my memory!

After twenty-five years as a community association manager, I woke up one morning and knew it was time for a change. I knew that if I had to tell another person in a million-dollar house to clean their driveway, I would not do it in a pleasant manner. I talked with David and decided to give a nine month notice and find a new career.

What would I do? I prayed. I asked God to show me how I could be of maximum service to Him and still make a little money. After three months, a friend told me about Life Coaching, and I hired a coach to experience it for myself. I knew that this is exactly what I wanted to do with the rest of my working career. Today I not only enjoy coaching but I also teach for World Coach Institute.

I always wanted to become a published author, but I never wrote anything! My wonderful coach, Lorraine Edey helped me to develop the discipline of writing and in less than a year, my first book, Trust God and Buy Broccoli, A Spiritual Approach to Weight Loss came off the presses! It was one of the most thrilling moments of my life, to hold that book in my hands. I was able to do a book signing at Barnes and Noble. It still thrills me to write on the inside cover for people who’ve bought my book. I’m so happy to be working with other aspiring authors today, to experience their excitement and joy of also becoming a published author!

So often, we wait for the perfect time to take a chance, and that time might never come. What  have you been dreaming about, but putting off for the perfect moment? Maybe it is right now. I encourage you to make it a goal. You know, a goal is nothing more than putting an action plan on your dreams. They can, and will come to fruition.

Don’t wait.

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Why aren’t people smiling?

IN SHORT DEMAND – SMILES.

 Who smiles these days?

We spent Saturday in the Magic Kingdom to celebrate my granddaughter’s thirteenth birthday. It was also the fortieth birthday celebration for the Magic Kingdom! As you might imagine, there were huge crowds, much like the holidays. It was our intent to leave early, as we had spent prior day at the park with our son and his girlfriend, celebrating her birthday!

Instead of hitting rides with the kids, we opted to wait and engage in some good old fashioned people-watching. There we were, in one of the happiest places in the world, and hardly anyone was smiling! The main intent of the masses seemed to be rushing from one ride to another, missing nothing; get their money’s worth, I suppose. Hardly anyone made eye contact, and when they did, eyes quickly darted off toward an assumed destination. Very few were smiling; many little ones were outright crying!

I took the time to chat with a ‘cast member’. She was smiling! I guess it’s their job to smile, but not everyone in costume sported a big grin! When my grandchildren and their parents returned from their ride, they had big smiles when they saw the fast passes we had collected for them! Kids don’t like to stop for anything when it comes to having fun, but they were amiable enough to have lunch; no big smiles but no frowns either. I’ll take that as a win!

When concentrating, the corners of my mouth go down, which is quite unfortunate as I have a great smile! For all intent and purpose, it would appear that I’m frowning! When a good friend brought that to my attention, I was horrified! It takes a concerted effort for me to make sure I’m not frowning when listening intently to anyone. I have to think about smiling! Even when I’m having a good time, I sometimes have to tell my face!

At church this morning, most people were not smiling, but our good pastor, Father Tony Quinlivan delivered a humorous sermon and by the end of it, many had smiles on their faces. After church, we hit the local Wal-Mart and as you probably are guessing, no smiles there either. It was really busy too! Grocery aisles were jammed and no one wanted to move. When someone allowed me through, I’d smile and say, “thank you.” A few returned a cursory smirk but no big grins or intelligible “your welcomes.” I wonder if I can really make a difference.

I know that if nothing changes, nothing changes. Now that I’m more aware of it, I’m going to make a real effort to smile, greet people and make sure my face exhibits that I’m enjoying life. Maybe you’ll try too. If enough people really do make an effort, in time we may become a smiling society!

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